Swiss Army Man Review

I'm going to say right off the bat that this was not the movie I expected it to be - it was so much more.
I won't be giving away too many details about the movie because I urge you to watch it for yourself - minor spoilers follow.

Swiss Army Man is the perfect example of a movie that does not need to conform to the average expectations of cinema and instead can stand on its own as an original and near perfect love story. Yep, you read that tight, the movie where Daniel Radcliffe portrays a flatulent corpse is a love story. But don't be put off because this movie is not your standard boy meets girl story instead it is boy meets corpse and teaches corpse about love - which I know doesn't sound very appealing but it is surprisingly heartwarming. This movie embraces its quirkiness with a sense of pride -which it is more than entitled to because it truly is one of the strangest films I've ever had the pleasure to watch.

Daniel Radcliffe as Manny (Source)

This movie, however, needs more than just the weird and wonderful stylings of a love story about a corpse - this is where Hank (Paul Dano) comes in. Paul Dano basically carries the first half hour of this movie on his own giving a performance that captures the hopelessness and loneliness of a man lost far away from civilization. He reels the audience in, with his amazing portrayal of the weak and awkward Hank, so that within the first 5 minutes you feel how desperate he is and are able to accept the fact that he befriends a corpse. The movie opens with Hank stuck on a desert island which is where I expected the entire movie to take place, however, Hank manages to escape the island with the help* of Manny in the first 10 minutes.
*Help, in this case, means Hank riding Manny like a jet ski propelled by Manny's farts. Yes, this movie is weird.
The movie's primary focus is on Hank and Manny as they walk back home through the wilderness becoming friends as their journey continues. Manny gradually becomes more and more alive being able to talk and eventually move on his own. As their trek continues it is revealed that Manny has many amazing powers including but not limited to; Explosive Finger Snapping, Water Dispensing Mouth, Super Farts and Compass Boner. Yep, compass boner, I love this movie.

Hank rides Manny off of the island (Source)

Daniel Radcliffe faces a unique challenge as an actor and he faces this challenge no matter the role, the challenge being that he is Harry Potter. It is something that I can find distracting when I see him in a movie as it makes me stop seeing him as whoever he is supposed to be portraying and instead just seeing Harry Potter. However, in Swiss Army Man, he makes you forget completely that he was the boy who lived and instead gives an enthralling performance as the man who died. This kind of peculiar movie seems to be his strongest asset - it reminded me very much of his movie Horns which if you've seen it will know that means good things.

Unfortunately the movie does lose some steam in its final act, however, this is not  enough to stop me from rewatching the movie because the journey and the relationship between the characters is more than enough to pull me back in. I am telling you to watch this movie. Watch it now. You'll love it.


Pros
Original
Funny
Heartwarming
Unique
Amazing performances from lead actors

Cons
Loses some steam near the end

9/10

Don't Breathe Review

SPOILERS FOR DON'T BREATHE (2016)

Last week I watched 'Don't Breathe' which is director Fede Alvarez's (Evil Dead) newest and most original movie to date. Fans of his previous gore-fest might want to look elsewhere however as Don't Breathe relies solely on the intimidating presence of its antagonist, The Blind Man (Stephen Lang), to unnerve the viewer. There isn't much gore in this movie which is a welcome change in a genre that has become so over-saturated with blood and guts that they have lost their impact.

Stephen Lang as The Blind Man (Source)

  The movie centers on three young adults Money (Daniel Zovatto), Alex (Dylan Minette) and the stand-out of the trio Rocky (Jane Levy) who are professional burglars. They live in Detroit and steal from the rich; they never take money until they find out about a blind man who has $300,000 in cash sitting in his house. Despite this, however, we are never supposed to dislike them, well besides Money who is just the worst, as we can appreciate Rocky's noble intentions of trying to get enough money to give her little sister a good life and Alex who is in love with Rocky and wants to go with her to California. Things go wrong for the trio once they get into the Blind Mans house when the ex-veteran Blind Man proves to be a formidable foe. He kills Money and then locks the house down trapping Rocky and Alex inside. One of the most interesting aspects of this movie is that the villain has a disadvantage compared to the protagonists ,this is usually the opposite in horror movies, The Blind Man cannot see Rocky and Alex which gives them the upper hand but if he manages to locate them then he can easily kill them which he proves many times in this movie when he shows off his competent combat abilities. Some of the tensest scenes are when the characters are standing right in front of The Blind Man trying to be completely silent, it is in those moments you realize the true horror of the situation, as the characters have to stop themselves from breathing due to The Blind Mans heightened senses. Unfortunately, the movie is slightly inconsistent with the capabilities of The Blind Man as he can sometimes smell the characters when they are in the same room as him yet he apparently can't smell them when they are standing two feet from his face. Despite this minor flaw, this is where the movie hits its stride as the moment the doors lock Director Fede Alvarez utilizes his claustrophobic camera work to truly make the viewer feel as though they are also locked in the house. As Rocky and Alex try to transverse the house in complete silence they uncover more about The Blind Mans tragic backstory, his daughter was killed in a hit and run which had driven him into exile, they also find his daughter's killer bound in the basement. This was one of the more questionable story points because I don't understand how The Blind Man was supposed to have recognized and kidnapped his daughter's killer because the movie clarifies he has been blind since his accident in the military many years before. Luckily the movie sells the moment effectively and keeps you engaged enough that you may not notice the illogical plot hole and you truly believe that Rocky, Alex, and the captive woman are going to escape until the shocking moment in which The Blind Man manages to shoot Alex in the ear and shoot the captive woman in the stomach killing her. In a very interesting moment, The Blind Man breaks down in tears once he realizes who he has killed, which opens up another point, The Blind Man is a very complex character who we as an audience fear yet also sympathize with.

Money, Rocky, and Alex (Source)

After killing the captive woman The Blind Man chases Rocky and Alex into the basement. Which leads us to the most suspenseful scene of the entire movie, this section in the pitch black basement has been heavily featured in advertisements and for good reason, it is the most intelligent and original horror moment of this film. This scene alone sets this movie apart from the rest of the horror films to release this year by some doing something risky and creative to create a brilliant set piece which highlights the strengths of the films villain. The scene is pitch black utilizing a night vision camera to allow the viewer to see what is happening. Small details make this scene great such as the way that Rocky and Alex's eyes never focus on anything in the scene due to them being in the dark, it makes you realize how horrifying losing your sight would be as you watch them unknowingly walk into the path of The Blind Man. The one negative of this scene is that the rest of the movie never lives up to it, it is the standout scene and in my opinion on of the most effective horror scenes in history.  I don't want to give away too much of this scene due to its masterful execution but what I will say is that this is more than enough reason to watch the movie.

Rocky as she explores the vast darkness of the basement (Source)

 We now enter the final act of the movie which is, unfortunately, the one that suffers from the most problems. After Rocky and Alex escape the basement they encounter The Blind Mans dog which wouldn't be a problem if earlier in the movie they hadn't made a point to show that the dog was chained up and knocked out using drugs. Now there are potential fixes for this problem such as The Blind Man unchained the dog and the drugs wore off yet the movie never adequately addresses this which means that it may have just been a mistake on the filmmaker's behalf. Anyway, the dog now chases Alex and Rocky upstairs and they lock themselves in a room. Rocky notes that all the windows are barred so they can't escape. The Blind Man begins knocking the door down so Rocky climbs into the air vents to escape while Alex tries to barricade the door. Rocky escapes while the dog gets into the room and knocks Alex through one of the windows. This once again would make sense if they hadn't made the point that the windows were all barred up. It is a minor problem but it does take you out of the moment because if that window wasn't barred up then why didn't they just escape through it but if it was then how did Alex get knocked through it? After Alex lands in the downstairs kitchen, he once again encounters The Blind Man and is killed! Wait, not really, yes the movie does a fake out death which I honestly find to be one of the cheapest tricks in the book. Individually these are all minor problems but because they all occur in rapid succession it does feel as though the people behind the camera began to care less about the movie as it neared its climax. Fortunately, the movie gets back on track almost instantly once Rocky gets caught and subdued by The Blind Man. She is knocked unconscious and awakes in The Blind Man's basement much like the captive girl who had been killed earlier. The Blind Man explains his motives; he wants a replacement for his daughter which he was going to get in the form of his unborn child who was being carried by the captive girl. Now that his captive is dead Rocky will have to take her place. He explains that he is not a rapist before revealing a turkey baster full of his... well his semen. This scene manages to be one of best gross-out scenes in recent history without a single bit of gore. Before The Blind Man can plant his seed Alex appears and saves Rocky. As they are fleeing the house Alex is killed (for real this time) and Rocky gets into a final confrontation with The Blind Man. She activates his burglar alarm which renders The Blind Man defenseless as his heightened sense of hearing is much more sensitive to the alarm compared to Rocky. She knocks him down into the basement and flees with the bag full of his money. We then see her and her sister at an airport getting ready to go to California. Rocky notices a news report revealing that The Blind Man is alive yet has not reported anything stolen from the house and that he claims there were only two burglars; Alex and Money. The Blind Man is buying Rocky's silence as she cannot tell the police about what happened or she'll lose her money and be arrested. It was a very interesting end to the movie significantly better than the average 'THE KILLER IS STILL ALIVE AND WANTS REVENGE' ending that audiences have become accustomed to.

Pros
Incredibly tense
Didn't rely on jump scares
Original story
Interesting villain
Great cinematography 
Interesting ending

Cons
Fake-out death
Inconsistent villain ability
Plot hole: How did the blind man get the girl?
Wasn't the window barred?
Dog was on a chain yet was suddenly inside

8/10

Playing Golf!

Yesterday, for the first time, I went to a driving range to practice my golf game. Unfortunately, I learned that I am not very good at golf. Here is the story of how yesterday unfolded.

I awoke at around 9am and proceeded to go onto my computer to skype with friends and to apply for some jobs. Right now I am looking for a job in journalism which is actually why I am writing this blog. I managed to find a journalism job in Birmingham which I applied for, however, I did not expect to get a response in the time I did. I applied for the job at 12pm. I got an interview for next week at 12:05pm.  I was thrilled this I'd been looking for a job like this for a very long time and to get a call back that quickly really motivated me and assured me that I destined for a career in journalism. Which is funny because I don't believe in destiny. But, I digress, I then managed to spend the next few hours doing basically nothing. I browsed the internet and watched some 'Top 10' lists on YouTube before noticing it was now 3PM! I hadn't done anything all day!

Ashamed of letting the day go to waste I decided to ask my friend James if he would like to go play golf. James is the kind of person who can be very challenging to contact as he doesn't check social media as regularly as most people and I do not have a phone number to use to contact him. I have learned that the best way to get to James is through his mother. I got my mother to phone his house, she tried to hand me the phone but I refused as I hate talking on the phone. I ask my mother to direct these questions at James;

1. Are you free today?

2. Want to play golf?

The answer to both of these questions was 'Yes' and my Mother had informed me that James sounded rather excited at the prospect of playing golf. Of course, he did not of our failure that was yet to come. We arranged to meet in out city center by a statue of Lady Godiva. I set off the first part of the journey was easy - cross the road to get to the bus stop. I managed to cross the road without any fatal accidents which I considered a success. I then waited at the bus stop for what felt like an eternity (3  minutes) and got onto the bus. This is where the story gets interesting.

The bus began progressing toward my designated rendezvous and I sat at the back of the bus. I was bored so I started texting people on my phone. But around the third stop a family got off of the bus, I took notice of the family because the mother had recently shouted at her young son and he was now crying. After they got off the mother and the son began walking away but the daughter, who looked about two years old, walked in the opposite direction.  The mother did not seem to notice that her daughter was with her and the little girl was completely oblivious to her surroundings. I got the bus driver to stop the bus and went over to the little girl. I approached her and told her that she had wandered off from her mother. I proceeded to walk the little girl back to her family before I realised that I had been abandoned by the bus. The mother thanked me and I continued on my way. I knew I would now have to just walk to meet James . I was going to be late.

After the 20 minute walk into town I met up with James and we began our journey toward the driving range. We used the GPS on my phone to lead us to the driving range which was helpful as neither of us had ever been there before.  We walked along talking about our interests which meant a whole lot of nerdy talk. When we finally arrived at the driving range we were uncertain of where we had to go to collect our balls and clubs. Eventually, we figured it out and collected our clubs from the little golfing store. It was surprisingly cheap; £4 for 60 balls and £1 for each club. We headed over to the driving range and entered our code into the ball dispenser. Then we realised our mistake. The time for our failure was upon us. We hadn't put a basket at the dispensing hole and so all of the balls were spat out of the machine and all over the floor. We begrudgingly collected them one by one and threw them into a basket. I am fairly certain that the professional golfers were disappointed in us because I know that we were. 

One of the balls that betrayed us

We then started actually playing by taking it in turns seeing who could hit the ball the furthest. I wasn't very good and neither was James. We had fun with it however by posing for photographs and embracing our natural lack of talent. I eventually decided to do a ridiculous golf stance where I was essentially squatting and swinging the club as hard as possible while saying 'Be the ball'. This actually worked! I got better and eventually got into the swing of things! I had a fun day and I think James did too. After golf, I went home and went to the gym before playing on Star Wars Battlefront with James which is another game that we are not very good at. I fell asleep around 2am. It was a good day.

Photo 1. James the pro-golfer,  Photo 2. My golf stance,  Photo 3. James' victory sttance

Southport Comic Con 2016

I went to Southport Comic Con on September 17th, 2016. The con was spectacular and was honestly probably my favorite con that I've ever been to despite it being one of the smallest. I had a very busy and long day I woke up at 6am and didn't get home until 12:30 am the next day!

6AM

As the early morning sun illuminated my room and a gentle breeze rolled through the partially opened window I was suddenly woken by the irritating buzz of the alarm that I had set the previous night. The horrible beeping of the alarm forced me to get out of the comfort of my bed to make it come to a halt. I wearily walked into the bath room so I could look into the mirror and ensure my green hair dye had lasted all of my tossing and turning in the night. To my surprise it had with a few small exceptions; a few strands of brown hair seeping through the green. I picked up my green hair spray from the faucet where I had placed it at around 8pm the previous day. Armed with my spray I eliminated any uncolored hair I could find recoloring it a vibrant green. I got quite annoyed with a particular section of hair that just wouldn't allow me to recolor it but I persisted! I emptied the can of spray on that section of hair and eventually there was a success, however, my victory was short lived. I gasped as I realised that the dye  had begun dripping off of my head, I could feel it slowly make it's way down my back, leaving a swampy green stain in its path. Panicked I rushed to grab a towel and managed to stop the small river of dye that had formed. I soaked up the excess dye which left the previously white towel a much more interesting greenish yellow color.  After about a half hour the dye had dried and I was ready to start my make up.

Green hair success!

7AM
My dye had now dried leaving my hair hard and very strange to touch. I regret touching it because my hand became green as soon as it made contact with my colorful hair. I washed the green off of my hand and I went out of the bathroom and over to my belongings. I searched through my bag for a small cardboard box which contained my make up. As I did not have much experience with make up I was unsure of the order to do my make up. I eventually decided that it was probably better to do my foundation first. I rummaged through the cluttered box until I had the tube of white foundation in my hand. I also grabbed what I thought to be my translucent powder but when I got back to the bathroom I noticed that I had mistakenly picked up my hair gel. I groaned in contempt, I was too tired to walk all the way back to the box. I slowly veered out of the bathroom and toward the box, effortlessly throwing my hair gel on the bed as I walked past.  The tub of gel bounced on the bed and rolled on the floor, I didn't take much interest. I picked up the box of make up supplies and took a few steps over to the bed. I rotated the box 180 degrees so all of its contents came falling out and onto the soft bed. Scouring over the collection of beauty products that now lay on my bed I noticed that my powder wasn't amongst the brushes, lipstick and eye-shadows; I began to worry. I needed the powder to keep my make up lasting for the entire day, without it my makeup would fade and become cracked within a few hours. I looked through all of the things on the bed one more time but to no avail. My powder wasn't there. I decided to try my luck and check inside of my bag, perhaps the powder had merely fallen out and now was hidden amongst my clothes. I tipped out the clothes and was disheartened when I realised the powder was not among them. I was upset as I thought my make up wouldn't work now, I sat down on the bed my head hanging in sorrow. I then looked over to the window and noticed my powder sitting on the table where I had left it when i got it out of the box while looking for the foundation! Annoyed at myself for being so foolish I got up and stormed over to the table. I grabbed the powder and proceeded back to the bath room. I placed the powder down and picked up my foundation. I popped open the cap and gently squeezed the tube causing a fair amount of foundation to protrude onto my fingers. I applied the foundation to my face then waited for a few minutes before doing it again. I then opened the powder. I gently dabbed the powder sponge (No idea what that thing is called) and applied a layer of powder to my face. I checked the time, it was almost 8AM, I needed to hurry.

8AM
With my freshly whitened face still drying I rushed into the other room and grabbed my eye shadows and lipsticks from the bed. I had two colors for my eyes; black and burgundy. I also had two lipsticks; purple and red. I scurried back into the bathroom and started doing my lipstick. I applied a layer of red, followed by purple and lastly another layer of red. I tore a piece of toilet paper off of the roll and gently dabbed it on my lips. My phone began dinging. I had a message. I walked over to my phone to see who was messaging me and to no surprise, it was Chloe, the Harley to my Joker. I read her text and she was upset because she didn't think she would be able to make it to comic-con. This honestly didn't surprise me as she had told me the night before that she may not be able to come however it saddened me and so I replied which started a message chain that lasted until around 2:30pm. I was now juggling tasks, I was speaking to Chloe while trying to make my make up look as best as I possibly could. I won't go into detail as to what our conversation entailed but it was basically just how annoyed we were that she might not be able to go to comic con. I got back to work on my make up. I opened up my eye shadows and smeared the brush into the black. When my brush was coated in enough eye shadow for me to be satisfied I began gently rubbing it one to my eye lids. The black was applied in just under a minute or at least that is how long it felt. I then plastered my other brush with burgundy eye shadow and began applying that. I gently mixed the colours until I had created a realistic blend of black and burgundy. Content with my make up I packed everything away and got my tuxedo on.

The finished product! 

9AM
The sun was high in the sky now and my room was quickly heating up. I opened a window to try and cool down. I had one hour to get to the convention, I was in a hotel that was literally across the street so I had time to kill. I lay on the bed and opened my phone. I searched for something to watch before decided on 'This Is The End' I knew I wouldn't get to finish it but I had seen it multiple times before so I didn't mind. I pressed the play button and lay back with my head pressed on the soft embrace of the pillow. I was laughing constantly at the movie but after about 40 minutes I had to turn it off and actually head to the con. I packed up all of my clothes and other belongings which I then placed into my travel bag. I was thirsty, I could feel it, I needed to be hydrated before going out into the heat.  I dropped my bag to the floor and reopened it. I searched the bag until I found my bottle of water, I turned the cap and began to drink. I must have drunk that bottle in about 5 seconds and I felt refreshed. I threw the bottle into the trash before zipping up my bag and continuing down to the lobby of the hotel. When I reached the main reception I pressed the bell to get a workers attention. I pressed the bell again becomingly increasingly annoyed at the time it was taking for a worker to arrive. The dinging of the bell filled the air as the worker came round the corner, they were clearly as tired as I was. They had no energy in their movements as they came and sat behind the desk at reception before asking in a monotone voice not dissimilar to a robot 'Is there anything I can help you with?' I then proceeded to explain that I would need to leave my bag with them as I couldn't carry it around all day. The worker nodded and un-enthusiastically took the bag and placed it on the desk. I thanked them and proceeded to walk to the con.

10AM
As I left the hotel the sudden blast of heat stunned me for a second for I am not used to such intense temperatures especially when dressed in all black. The sunshine dazed me and it took a few seconds my eyes to dilate and to allow my vision to restore. I took a few steps outside and could already see the con, there was a small line forming, to my surprise there wasn't many people in costume. I began to walk in the direction of the con noticing the strange looks I was getting my passerby's in their cars. Usually with all of these eyes peering at me I would feel uneasy but not when it is for comic con, something about being in costume allows me to get over any social anxiety I might normally encounter. I got to the traffic lights and patiently waited for the pedestrian light to turn green before crossing the road. I was now incredibly close to the con and people in the line were noticing me. I was pleased, I will admit I do love the attention I get at conventions.  I paced along toward the back of the line and began to wait for admittance into the con. I checked the time; 10:30am. The doors were supposed to open at 10am. I didn't want to wait out in the sun for too long as I thought it might crack my makeup. I accepted my conundrum and resigned myself to my fate, I checked my phone and replied to a few texts. I took notice of the people around me - standing in front of me was a down syndrome girl who kept looking at me and smiling, I would smile back each time she did this, she did this a lot. It didn't bother me at all however it was nice to see that my costume was making her happy. I noticed a man with a camera scouring the line to see any costumes that he wanted a photo of, he noticed me. He signalled toward me that he wanted a photo by slightly raising him camera. I was happy to oblige. I proceeded to place my hands on my head and open my mouth as wide as possible which is my go-to Joker pose. The man snapped a few shots and directed a warm smile at me, I smiled back and he continued his business, I didn't see that man again.  Finally the line started to move as the doors were opened. I was granted admission into the convention. I slowly entered and approached the stairs, I merely followed the crowd. I went down the long flight of stairs being careful with each step that I didn't misplace my foot and fall. When I reached the bottom I looked around and found a chair, I sat down, the chair was welcoming and very comfortable. I relaxed and waited for the main hall to open.

A photo taken as I entered the con

11AM
I began to transverse the convention rooms and to my delight the venue was much larger than expected. I passed the main stage and was stopped multiple times for photographs which I do love. Right before I could enter the merchandise room I was dragged away by a professional photographer, the first of many in the day, I was then asked to pose for multiple photographs. I would later found out his camera wasn't focusing and I would have to retake these photos later in the day. As soon as I got into the merchandise room something caught my eye, a Harley Quinn styled bag, I wanted to buy it as a present for Chloe because I knew she loved Harley Quinn. I approached the table that was selling the bag and took a note of the price. I checked my pockets for money and quickly noticed that they were empty. I patted my jacket in a similar fashion to a police officer searching a suspect but my efforts were in vain as I had no cash on me. Defeated I decided to locate a cash machine. I left the con through the main entrance and began my quest to find a cash machine. I remembered seeing a cash machine after getting off the train the day before and so I walked back to the train station. As I walked through the streets the eyes of pedestrians followed me, their curiosity was moderately off-putting especially when some people were laughing at me. However I didn't mind too much, I was having a fun day and doing something I loved. I eventually came across the cash machine and removed my credit card from my pocket. I slid the card into the machine and entered my pin. I removed the money that I needed and placed it into my pocket before heading back to the con. On my journey back I came across an older couple who stopped me in the street they were intrigued as to why I was painted. I was more than happy to explain the concept of comic con to them and they seemed very interested, they bid me a good day and safe travels, I thanked them and returned the favour. As I got back into the con the breeze of the air conditioner was intoxicating, I didn't enjoy leaving the comfort of the artificial cool temperatures of the con and I didn't want to have to go outside again. I walked back to the table to buy the bag once again I was stopped for many photos along the way. I finally got to the table and purchased the bag. I handed over my money and asked the man if he could keep the bag safe as I didn't want to carry it around all day, he was happy to oblige.

Photo of the bag 

12PM
My phone buzzed in my pocket and so I gave into the temptation to check it. I had a message from Chloe - she was able to come to the con! Now I was excited as Chloe was able to do my tattoos which I had been missing from my cosplay and a few people had pointed it out.  It is also nice to have a Harley Quinn with you when you are dressed as the Joker. I asked if her if she knew when she would be arriving as she said it would around 2pm. I proceeded to walk around the con some more and I got stopped for a ridiculous amount of photos. At one point a family walked by me and the young boy who was with them began crying as he saw me. That made me feel good because I was happy that my makeup was done well enough to scare a child. I approached the child and shook his hand eventually he realised that I wasn't really the joker and asked in a soft and slightly intimidated voice if he could have a photo. Of course I was happy to pose for a photo with the kid. I got down on one knee and the kid and I both pulled scary faces. After the photo the child thanked me then walked off with his family. I then came across a display that featured the bat signal and a man dressed as the Iron Patriot asked me if I would pose with his team for some photographs.  I was grateful for this because usually, people had to pay £5 to get the professional photos with the bat signal, I began posing mostly with the batman who was there. At one point there was at least 10 cameras around us and I honestly had no idea which one to look at. It was so much attention that I was not used to but I was basking in the glory, I loved it. By the end of that barrage of photos I was drained, I needed a drink. But before I could find a drink someone told me to enter the costume competition which I was honestly unsure about doing but then I figured that there would no harm in trying it. I went up to the sheet and unknowingly entered myself into the group contest!

1PM
I received word from Chloe that she was close to the convention now so I decided to go wait at the entrance for her but first I went to collect the bag from the man who was looking after it. I manoeuvred my way through the ever-growing crowds inside of the merchandise hall making sure that I didn't accidentally brush my makeup off on anybody. I eventually made it back to the table, it had taken much longer than expected due to the crowds and the constant photograph requests. The man instantly recognised me and handed my purchase over to me. I then began walking to the entrance again dodging the swarm of people. As I walked past the main stage I was once again asked to pose for a few photos. This time with two women dressed as Harley Quinn, I sat on some steps with them and placed my arms over them. We got a few photos and they complimented my costume, I felt humbled this was the best reaction to any of my costumes ever, everyone was complimenting me today. I continued my travels and headed for the entrance. As I walked up the steps to entrance door the sun hit my eyes and briefly stunned me however my eyes quickly adjusted to the increased levels of light. I stood by the door and waited.

Photo taken with the Harleys

2PM
I stood by the door checking my phone every few minutes, I posted a couple of photos to snapchat and tried to avoid standing in the sunlight as I could feel bits of my make up flaking off. I was invited to take part in a batman parade but declined because I didn't want to miss Chloe. However a few professional photographers, including the person whose camera hadn't been focused before requested that I get some photographs. I followed them outside and stood by the wall that they had chosen as a backdrop. I proceeded to take part in a photoshoot, they were requesting poses and I just did whatever they said. I was then asked to pose with a batman cosplayer and we ended up getting one of my favorite photos of the day. After the photoshoot the photographers gave me their cards and told me to go online to get the photos. I then received word from Chloe that she had arrived and we met up. I gave her the bag which she appreciated very much and then we began exploring the con. We sat down at a table inside the main room and I asked her if she could do my tattoos. She was more than happy to. She got her make up and began carefully drawing the tattoos onto my face. The makeup was cold to the touch which honestly felt good because I was very hot after being outside for so long. The brush slightly tickled as it made it's way across my face and left a black tattoo in its wake. I made Chloe laugh while she did the forehead tattoo which resulted in a fairly wonky 'Damaged' tattoo. Chloe also drew the 'J' tattoo on the wrong side of my face and the wrong way round I found this humorous as she claims to be the biggest fan of the Jared Leto Joker. After the tattoos were finished an announcement echoed throughout the hall which informed us that the costume competition was about to start. I got into my place in the line while Chloe went to see some of her friends. I was then informed that I had entered the group competition by mistake so I informed them that I could maybe get a Harley Quinn so we would qualify as a group. I quickly found Chloe and forced her to join me in the competition. We got into the line and waited patiently for our names to be called. We were some of the last people to go up, which made me feel slightly nervous as we were following many marvellous costumes, but finally we were called up onto stage. Funnily enough when they called us up they said 'John-Paul Conway as Harley Quinn and The Joker' which made me laugh because it would have been rather impressive if I was cosplaying both of them. We walked onto the stage and did a pose. I reached out my arm to her, she took my hand and I pulled into to me but grabbed her by the throat. This was Chloe's idea as she wanted to show off the dysfunctional relationship between Harley and The Joker. We got off of the stage and had no idea when the announcement of the winner would take place. We met a man dressed as Colonel Sanders who took some photos of us and told us a bit about when the announcement would be.

Photo taken while we were on stage

3PM
As we were waiting for the announcement to be made as to who won the contest I was approached by a family whose son wanted a photo with me. I agreed thinking it just be a quick thing but I ended up having to walk to the other side of the con to get photos with the kid by the bat signal. It was a race against the clock, I didn't want to miss the announcement. When we got to the bat signal the photographer was busy printing of some previous photos. 'I'll be with you in 5 minutes' he said in a pleasant voice. I checked my phone, time was ticking by. I was getting anxious I needed to be back at the main stage! After what felt like an eternity the photographer was ready, he asked us to get into our preferred poses so he could take the photo. I asked the kid what he wanted to do and we eventually decided on the same pose that I had done in practically every photo that day. I crouch down so I would be level with kid and got into my pose. The camera flashed; temporarily blinding me. Then it flashed again. The photos were done, I was relieved. I shook the fathers hand and he thanked me. I smiled and said it was no problem. Now I needed to race back to the main stage. I fought my way through the crowds and began doing a light run, I was panicking that I had missed the announcements. Finally I got back into the main room and located Chloe just as the announcement was made 'and in first place Joker and Harley Quinn'. Momentarily shocked that we had been called I asked Chloe if they meant us. She was equally surprised and said 'I think so'. We began walking toward the stage in disbelief as the host on stage noticed us and shouted 'THERE THEY ARE COME ON GET UP ON STAGE'.  We walked up onto the stage, I felt nervous, all eyes were on us. The judge handed over our prizes a trophy and three free tickets to Wigan Comic Con! We were amazed and so grateful! I took the prizes from the man yet I still couldn't believe we won. I thanked him and showed Chloe our prizes. We got off of the stage and got a closer look at the trophy which read 'Southport September 2016 WINNER Cosplay age 15 and under' I found this very funny, they had given us the wrong trophy! After the competition was over one of Chloe's friends was getting his head shaved for charity, Chloe was given a collection bucket and asked to collect some money. We began our next and final chapter of the day - the collection.

Us with the trophy and us on stage.

4PM onwards
Now much really happened for the final hour. Myself, Chloe and two of her friends walked around the con trying to collect as much money as possibly, however, I am ashamed to admit we got distracted pretty regularly. We ended up posing for photos and reenacting a comic book scene that we had wanted to attempt. It was a very peaceful yet uneventful final hour which is probably best summed up as the calm before the storm because about two hours after the con was over my day became a hectic and unenjoyable journey from Southport to Coventry. Trains were missed and drunken people were encountered. I endured a 5-hour train journey home and met multiple interesting people along the way. I got home at around midnight and washed off my makeup. I then put on a movie Son Of Batman, I don't recall if it was any good because I fell asleep half way through Yet I would do it all again because Southport Comic Con was perfect.

The comic scene we reenacted